WCS SmackDown: Beady Eye Vs Colon

Welcome to yet another installment in the WCS SmackDown series, where two bands battle it out Thunderdome-style—two bands enter, one band leaves. Today is a contest between bands named after parts of the anatomy, with Liam Gallagher’s Noel-less crew Beady Eye going up against indie newcomers Colon.

Beady Eye bring the shite on "Bring The Light"

Vs

"Already the corporate whores of the mu-sick biz are on their backs with their legs wide open baying for Colon to show them just how dangerous music can be"

Beady Eye: Bring The Light

The dregs of Oasis have made good on their threat to release new music under the name Beady Eye after Oasis’ main creative force Noel Gallagher left the band almost a year and a half ago.

Beady Eye have made their first single, “Bring The Light”, available today as a free download. As World-Class Shitty is a site that deals in crap music, I was very much looking forward to hearing what the band had to offer, knowing that it would be at the very least underwhelming. I’m pleased to say that the lads have not disappointed. Listen for yourself.

It sounds like Jerry Lee Lewis meets the Stones’ “Let’s Spend the Night Together” with Beatles-style harmonies and a George Harrison guitar solo. At the 2:26 mark some Alvin and the Chipmunks backing vocals come in. Indeed, “Bring The Light” brings everything except the barest flicker of originality. It takes its various archetypal influences and invests them into a creative bankruptcy of Lehman Brothers proportions. In one way, however, “Bring The Light” does achieve what was previously inconceivable—it makes Oasis sound innovative by comparison.

Colon: Kick In The Sun

Judging from this YouTube video, there seems to be a lot of buzz about Colon right now. Like Beady Eye, these guys wear their influences on their sleeves but somehow combine them into more than the sum of their parts. Take a look.

Of course, those parts are really nothing more than a combination of sub-par La’s and a singer who stands at the mic like Liam Gallagher.

“Remember Where You Are—This Is Thunderdome, And Death Is Listening, And Will Take The First Man That Screams.”

This is typically the part of WCS SmackDown where I declare a winner. However, I feel incapable of choosing between these two totally derivative and unnecessary bands, so as I did with the last installment I’m opening this decision up to a vote. Like most elections, it doesn’t really matter who you choose as the winner is always The Man and the loser is always you.