Liam Gallagher’s Pretty Green is Pretty Crap

 

Pretty Vacant: Clothing and blank stare model's own

In a bold attempt to suck at two things simultaneously, Oasis singer Liam Gallagher has launched his own clothing line called Pretty Green. The name is a reference to his favorite song by The Jam, though perhaps their song “The Planner’s Dream Goes Wrong” would have been more appropriate. “Planner”, however, might be overstating things a bit. More like The Wanker’s Dream Goes Wrong. Or perhaps it would have been simpler and more accurate to have called the new line of prêt-à-porter Suck Forever.

You can see Liam’s pledge in the lower right corner of the above photo not to release any clothing designs that he himself would not wear, so let’s have a look at Liam modeling some of the clothes in his Pretty Green line. 

 

Just the thing for the well-dressed pugilist. Those snickers directed your way down at the local will soon turn to grimaces as you use your Pretty Green pink cravat to choke the life out of any tosser who looks at you sideways.  £55.00

Hairdo or hairdon’t? Liam will never tell and you won’t have to either with this stylish floppy hat. The next time some arsewipe tells you to put your ‘thinking cap’ on you can tell him to fuck off because you’re already wearing the Pretty Green Cubscout Leader Chapeau. And then call him a daft fucking cunt.  £35.00

As he has done with his music, clothing designer Liam Gallagher has once again raised the banal to an art form with this stunning black t-shirt with his company logo front and centre. You could buy basically the same thing for 1/5th the price but then you’d be a fuckin’ wanker, innit?  £40